Whatever Happened to Lying Low?

So I'm writing because I did say I'd tell about that date I had last week. I know I did tell a few of you who asked about it briefly, but honestly -- I don't remember who exactly I've told anything to! And this is a tad long. Apologies in advance.

Well, I wasn't sure Michael had even asked me on a date and if or when he would come get me. And it was Friday night. And... my kitchen is absolutely disgusting. Okay. So, I'm not going to lie... I cleaned for a mighty three hours straight. I pulled out the cupboards and oven and cleaned behind there, mopped, scrubbed the floor to get the stuff the mop wouldn't get. I pulled the burner rings out and cleaned the stove like crazy go nuts. I got everything. Almost anyway.

I was waiting for the wet floor to dry when my doorbell rang. I was all grungy from cleaning, and I had pretty much forgotten about the prospect of a date. But when I opened the door to see Michael there... I remembered.

"Heeey!" he said.

"Hi," I said. I kind of shuffled my feet a little on my clean floor. I really am very grungy.

"Do you have any movies?"

"Uhhh... I have two... Mulan and Enchanted. And Jackie has The Terminal."

"How long has it been since you've seen Mulan?"

"A while."

"How long is a while? Like, a month a while, or a year a while?"

"A month a while."

"Oooh, that's not very long, is it..." And he drifted off into thought. But Jackie was in the living room, and was apparently eavesdropping.

"Oh, that's okay! We watch Enchanted almost every day!" And it was true... Jackie somehow convinced him that he needed to see Enchanted, and we decided we'd watch it.

Except then Michael said, "Actually, you wanna play Mario Kart?"

I blinked. Always wanted to, never had the chance. "If you'll teach me."

And it was agreed. So instead of staying safely at my house, he whisked me off to his house. Well, it was only a fifteen second trip at snail pace. And with that we started playing Mario Kart. We did the partner game, where he drove and I was in charge of weapons. And little by little, I picked up some weapons skill. Soon I was ramming into the neighboring cars, punching neighboring drivers in the face, throwing bombs at people, etc. Michael was rather shocked. "You're vicious!!!" He seemed a little awed. "You seem like such a sweet girl!"

Uh... thanks? I decided that the best thing to do was take that as a compliment. We had almost become the perfect team, and were coming in first nearly every time when someone else walked in the door. My heart sank all the way to the bottom of my feet. James? Ooooh, I did not like him. At all. He was in my calculus class last semester -- the one class I had everyday. He was absolutely obnoxious. And somehow he'd always get perfect homeworks and perfect tests and... well, I didn't hate him because he threw off the curve. I have no beef with smart people. What I hated was how he and his girlfriend would mock our professor. If there is one way to instantly earn my disapproval it is that. Mocking a teacher.

James came over and sat next to me. And first words out of his mouth were nasty insults to Michael. Michael responded with insults back. I decided to ignore obnoxious little James and take out my hatred on the virtual drivers in the game... Michael, however, was significantly distracted by James' presence. His driving started to suck. And, of course, James used that as another thing to make fun of him with.

Please don't be in my ward, please don't be in my ward, please don't be in my ward...

And suddenly, I realized they were brothers. They didn't look alike, and they had completely opposite personalities, but it was true. Finally Michael realized he hadn't introduced us. "Oh! Jenna! This is --"

"James. He was in my calculus class last semester."

For a moment, James shut his gob. His face clearly expressed shock and confusion. Hm, yes, you wouldn't remember me. I avoided you like the plague. And I sat in the back so people like you wouldn't see me. And I never said anything.

"Wait, with Dr. Cardon?"

"Yes."

"...Remember when I come in wearing footies once?"

"Yes, and Chelsea come in dressed as a goth."

This seemed to confirm to him that I really was in his class, and then immediately he tried to pretend that we were bestest best friends. I discouraged it.

Finally, we gave up on trying to play Mario Kart. It was time to eat. Michael's roommate had made enchiladas. And they were good. I sat at the table and happily ate my enchilada, listening to Michael babble on about Albania (that's where he went on his mission) when James said something rather inappropriate and obnoxious. I blinked. Michael didn't blink, but grabbed a foot-long knife and grinned evilly as he pointed it at his brother. James screamed like a girl and ran out of the kitchen. Michael gave chase, muttering something that was not English. I assume it was Albanian. They ran upstairs, where I could not go (that's where the bedrooms were) and could hear thumping up there. I heard James' girly screams and Michael's girly giggles. Hm. I was not quite sure what I was supposed to thinking or saying or doing.

So I just pretended like nothing out of the ordinary was going on, and calmly got myself another enchilada. They really were very good. I chewed slowly, listening every once in a while to listen for evidence that my date and his brother were both still alive. They finally came back down.

They were laughing and wrestling with each other. I don't know where the knife went. And I kind of just looked at Michael.

"Oh no! I'm so sorry! I've been wasting your time! Oh oh oh... and I forgot about dessert too!" And with that Michael pulled out a bowl (but not before flinging one at his brother like a Frisbee) and started expertly making a fruit salad.

The fruit salad pretty much redeemed him. He knew what he was doing. And he was trying to teach his little brother all his secrets, but James insisted that Michael was an idiot. Hm.

Well, Michael retaliated. He used every opportunity to prove James wrong. I suppose he was not content to leave any risk of doubt in this girl's mind that James was not credible...

"James! I'm putting the kiwis and strawberries in the fridge. What about the bananas? Do I put those in the fridge?"

James blinked. "Uhhh..." He nodded uncertainly, then shook his head no, and then oscillated back and forth until it was quite obvious that he didn't know.

In victory, Michael said, "No. They'll ripen faster that way, and then they'll go rotten. And, James, what do you do with brown bananas?"

James didn't know.

"Make banana bread," I said.

Michael was pleased. "Very good!" He pulled out the yogurt and then turned back to James.

"Acidophilus. Good? Bad?"

James blinked.

"Good," said Michael. "Does yogurt have acidophilus in it?"

James hadn't the slightest clue.

"Yes," I answered. Michael was again very pleased.

"Remember if you ever get food poisoning... you want yogurt. It had lots of acidophilus... that's the good guy bacteria that helps you digest things."

James wanted to be dumb. "But what if I'm in Antarctica? Where will I get yogurt?"

Michael didn't know what to say. So I said, "Take acidophilus supplements with you. They taste like candy. Strawberry candy."

Well, James must have felt the need to restore his coolness in my eyes. So, he changed the subject to our calculus class. And soon he got to making fun of Dr. Cardon ("He was sooo autistic!") and then...

"Oh man, Jenna. If you ever get a time machine, you need to go back to last semester and make friends with me. Then I'd let you use the answer manual!"

My insides froze. What? I kind of blinked in surprise.

James went on to brag, "Yeah. I was a TA for Calc 1, and they use the same answer manual. So all I had to do to get the answers to everything was just ask the professor for it, and he'd give it to me... Aw man. Why actually sit and think through the problems to learn calculus? I just learned it from the answer manual!"

James just lost every bit of respect I might have been desperately holding on to. I had been trying hard not to judge him. But now I didn't feel guilty about not liking him. I smiled politely. "No thanks. If I go back in time, I don't think I'll use the answer manual."

James shrugged. We finished our fruit salads. And then Michael looked at the time... "Oh no! It's eleven already! There isn't enough time to watch a full-length movie! James, what should I show her?"

Well, apparently he had a cartoon collection. He brought some of it down. I didn't recognize any of it, but I agreed to watch an episode of Trigun with him. He put it in his laptop since his roommate was using the television, and we sat on the couch to watch it. James sat between us. I didn't at all know what was going on, so I didn't laugh at the funny parts... because I hadn't the slightest clue what was going on.

After that Michael took me home. And then he said, "Sorry about wasting so much of your time... but we should do this again sometime." And then he looked straight at me. "Like tomorrow."

Um? Are you asking me on a date, or not? He left, and I was left to wonder.

Well, he never showed up the next day. That was okay though. Rachelle and I made pies... one chocolate creme pie and one lemon meringue pie.

And a different guy showed up. We heard a knock on our door, and we went to answer it.

This guy's name was also Michael. He handed me a little flier-esque piece of paper. "We're having a smoothie night tomorrow. Please come! It's gonna be good!"

I blinked and looked at the little flier. Nicely made and colorful. And he seemed nice. "Where do you live?"

"White House South. Right there." I leaned out my door and looked. Well, yes, there it was. A white house. Jackie come and inquired as to what was going on. He proceeded to invite her as well. And then we said goodbye. And with that, he left, and we were about to close the door.

But another guy had been walking by. And then he just walked in and sat down at our kitchen table.

"Uh.. hi?" we said.

"Hi, I'm Gavin. I was just walking by and I saw that I didn't know you, so I figure I'd come find out who you were. What'd Michael want?"

"Uhhh... he invited us to a smoothie party..."

"What? A smoothie party? I hadn't heard about it!" He skipped over to look at the flier. "Ohh, I see what's going on..." And then he winked. "You know why he didn't invite me?" Jackie stared blankly at him, and before I could answer -- "Because I'm a guy. And you're girls."

I thought that had been obvious, but Jackie looked like it was a revelation. She laughed politely. And with that Gavin started asking all sorts of questions. And then Gavin wanted to know if we played Frisbee. Jackie did a little, and I answered that I never had.

"Well then. Next Thursday night they're playing Frisbee as a group. You guys should come."

Jackie agreed. I kind of didn't say anything, kind of hoping I could slither out of this one, but then Gavin pointed right at me, and declared, "And we'll teach you how to play Frisbee." And with that he walked out, shut the door, and...

Jackie and I looked at each other. And with that, Jackie burst into laughter. Really loud laughter. I raised my eyebrows in panic... "Jackie!" I hissed. "That was a REALLY loud laugh!"

And indeed it was. Almost instantly, Gavin opened our door and walked back in. "Geez! You didn't even give me time to walk away! That was really loud!"

Jackie was red and tried to leave. But no luck for her.

"Nuh uh. This warrants a talk." So Jackie stayed in the kitchen, but as far away from him as possible. Gavin raised an eyebrow. "No. This is a serious matter. This is a sit down talk. He pulled out a chair for and beckoned for her to sit. She did. I turned to leave... "You too. You sit there."

Crudmonkeys. I went and sat. Gavin went and explained to us the proper amount of time in between departure of the strange/awkward/ just-plain-creepy guy and safe time for hilarious laughter. You have to give him time to walk away. Well, yes, I know. And then you don't laugh so loud. Laughter of the sort Jackie just let loose could decimate some poor guy's self esteem. Yeesh. It wasn't even me who broke the social etiquette. And here I was being schooled. Jackie was so embarrassed. He left eventually.

Sunday came. We went to church. And Michael (the one with the obnoxious kid brother) followed me around. I was about to pass him after sacrament meeting, but he stuck his leg out to trip me. I stopped and looked down at the offending leg and then looked at him with one eyebrow up. "You trying to kill me?"

He laughed (it was high pitched of course, but I am starting to notice less and less just how high it is). And we went into the common area, and he threw a paper airplane at me. It crashed almost immediately. He was so sad. But then he pulled out another one, this time better made. He presented it to me. And it flew nicely. I rather enjoyed playing with it. It's not often you get to throw paper airplanes in the testing center without getting kicked out of the school. After church, he walked Jackie and I home. No big deal, I guess.

But then, just before ward prayer, I heard Michael's distinctive laugh. I came downstairs to see him still in his suit and tie. Apparently he had been at priesthood meeting. He was telling us animatedly about it. ("Oh, and one speaker said, 'Yeah, a lot of people left for spring term, and it's getting hot, but all the hot girls staaayyyedd..." Okay, Michael, what is it that you're hinting at exactly?) He had come to walk Rachelle and I to ward prayer. All right.

On the way over, he declared that we were going to take a walk afterwards. Okay? Do we have a choice?

Well, the walk was actually very fun. We explored, something I really do like to do, except with less mindless babble going on in the background. We rolled down rape hill. And Michael showed us the grass patches. They have a lineup of about fifteen types of grass, and you can feel the differences between them with your feet. There was a couple there, and I'm afraid we may have been bothering them, but Michael was oblivious. I really hope that guy wasn't planning on proposing or anything important like that.

After that we played lava monster as we climbed up the switchbacks. We weren't allowed to touch the path, but instead we walked on the walls. We found a little alcove with vine trellises and things. I was surprised there wasn't a couple there, since it was one of those spots that looked like it was made for such a thing. We went back to playing lava monster. We got to the top. And there was a fence.

I was in front, because I was letting Rachelle and Michael do most of the talking. Which is the usual for me. I much prefer listening. Every once in a while I feel obligated to say something. Hm. I looked at the fence. And could think of no other option.

I hopped it. Michael looked delighted. "You're so fun!" Uh...okay. We started to head down the hill again. And we got to the stairs. And while I hadn't really been saying anything at all, I was overcome with an urge to slide down the stair rails. I'd been practicing. I am absolutely terrified of heights. Sliding down stair rails is like conquering an enemy. Michael was a little nervous at first. Later he ending up sliding down the entire rail. Rachelle was nervous all the way through. I, of course, was terrified. But I was conquering this enemy. I slid down the whole thing by the time we were done. My heart was pounding and I couldn't breathe well. Michael took us home.

Monday night, after FHE... well, no. We didn't get a break from attention. Rachelle and I were making happy little Frosties (like from Wendy's!) with a recipe Ryan had found and sent to us when some one knocked at our door. I recognized this guy. A couple of weeks ago I had talked to him at the ward social. I think his name was Steve. I remember him... instead of the usual reaction I get when I say I'm a neuroscience major, he instead perked up with interest. (But only for a millisecond. He quickly masked it.) He was a biochemistry major. And I remember that when I asked what he did for fun, the best answer he could think of was... chemistry. He loves chemistry, apparently.

"Uh, hi... come in?" We wanted to know why he was here. And he didn't really have an answer. Except that he figured he should at least make some effort to socialize. It was a little awkward. He seemed quite uncomfortable. Yeesh, man, if you're going to invite yourself over, at least try to be comfortable... We shared our Nesquik with him as we ate our Frosties. He talked a lot about chemistry. He left after about twenty minutes.

Rachelle gave me one of those looks, laughed, and said, "Oooh, Jenna, I think he came for you!" Dang. It was probably true. No one else had seen him before. And now, since the ward directories had just been issued, he had been able to figure out where I lived. Daaang. So much for lying low. I wasn't planning on being noticed. In fact, I was on the verge of purposefully trying not to be. But not quite.

Guuh.

Michael randomly knocked on my door tonight. I went to answer it, but I couldn't open the stupid door. Okay, so our door was replaced yesterday. It's a little weird... it jams randomly. And so I fiddled with the doorknob for the longest time. Until I heard Michael's giggle. Huh. What do you want? It's like... nine. "Sorry! I can't open the door!"

I finally got it open.

Michael was laughing. Hard. When he finally got his breath back and composed himself, he stood up and asked, "You wanna go get milkshakes?"

I blinked. Hm. I had decided that if he had declared we were going to do something without asking me, I would refuse. But he actually asked. And it seemed like he wanted to do it now. And milkshakes sounded... really good. Here's a friendly tip. When trying to decide whether or not you want to go somewhere, don't imagine eating a milkshake. You'll get suckered into going anywhere, especially if you're Jenna and you love milkshakes. Especially strawberry ones. Mmm...

"Milkshakes sound good right now." And I got my shoes. And I wasn't quiiite sure if it was a date or not, so I grabbed my wallet. Just in case. Rachelle recommended Wendy's. Apparently they have good milkshakes now. So Michael took me over to his car, and the two of us went. I forget what we talked about, but he was actually asking me questions. He still did a lot of talking, but he was doing a good job of wheedling words out of me too. We arrived at Wendy's and ordered two small strawberry milkshakes with whipped cream and cherries. And then Michael paid. Ah! So it is a date! Wasn't quite sure for a bit there...

The cashier looked at me and then at Michael. Then, "Heey! He paid for you!" I smiled and nodded. And Michael said proudly, "Well, I did ask her out. It's my right." Hm. Okay. Date. I guess. Oh dang. Date number two. And I was just innocently thinking about the goodness of milkshakes. Maybe I should be more careful. And not give in to milkshake bribes.

Oh, but it was a gooood milkshake. And Michael seemed to be determined to find out everything he could about me. Question after question. And I'm not sure I liked the questions. I had let it leak that I was smart. It was like he had made it his personal goal to see just how smart.

"How many AP classes did you take in high school?" "Uhh... six junior year and six senior year, so twelve..." His jaw dropped. I felt like I had to redeem myself or something. "Well I didn't take the tests for all of them..." "Well, why not?" "Conflicts..." "With what?" "Well, I did IB too, and so a lot of those tests were at the same times and such..." "What's IB?" And so I had to explain what that was. And by the time I was done with that, he thought I was a genius. Dang. "So what clubs were you in?" "Uhh... science club, Spanish club, and then I was in marching band and symphonic band..." "You were in symphonic band?" "Yes." "What did you play?" "Uhh... bassoon..." "You played BASSOON?" "Yes."

He continued until finally he declared, "Oh man, your credentials have credentials! You are so smart and talented and..." Oh great. Now he thinks I'm perfect. Ha! I am far from it! The better people know me, the more I'm sure that they realize I've got as many flaws as the next person. And credentials for what, exactly? He kept talking. "Oh, and I just can't get over that you watched Trigun with me!" Hm. That's a silly thing not to be able to get over.

I was able to find out a little about him though. Be proud of me. He told me about his mission in Albania. And he wrote the new Albanian grammar book that the MTC will start using to train new Albanian missionaries. And at some point he hinted that he was going to need a date for horseback riding for some weekend. He took me home after that.

And when I got home I sat back down on the couch and wondered what just happened. It was a very short date, but whatever. Chemistry, Jenna. Do your chemistry. Rachelle came down and teased me a bit... "Jenna!" "What?" "Did you guys... kiss?" "No!" "Ohh... I was hoping that you guys would..." Gaah! Yeesh. I've never kissed anybody, and I'd rather not start with Michael. Yeeeckh.

Well, that's all. Nothing else really exciting (with the exception of the arrival of a birthday present form my family) happened for me. Well, actually, that depends on what you define as exciting. Whatever.

Send me love and birthday wishes!