I Got Married Today. Twice.

So, I was not anticipating anything particularly exciting to happen for the remainder of my summer break... but! I got married today, twice, and I thought that was worth writing about.

It all started with a phone call -- Jenna, can you babysit?

Well, YES. I'm just bored out of my mind over here, of course.

So, Friday afternoon, I got to babysit the three marvelous Jimenez girls: Evelyn (better known as Evie, at least to me), Elise, and Elina. When I got there, the girls were watching the end of Shrek 2, which I didn't mind -- the end is my favorite part. Elina wanted to play the Shrek 2 board game that Brother Jimenez had pulled out, so we started to set that up. However, once the game was set up, she didn't want to play it anymore. Evie and Elise did, though. So I played with them.

Elina, however, wasn't up for partnering up with anybody or just sitting around in that room. So, before I knew it... a pile of costumes was forming beside me. Elina was babbling the whole time about everything she could think of. And, as the game ended, Elise joined in on the dress-up game -- only, I was the subject. None of the little tutu-esque things fit me. Neither, of course, did any of their little princess dresses. But Elise and Elina found plenty of things for me to dress-up in, even if I was too big for their most spectacular garb.

Evie watched as I was transformed by my two expert dressers. Elina brought out one beaded necklace at a time. Most of them looked like mardi gras beads, but a couple of them looked more expensive than your usual play items. I began to wonder what I was being dressed up as; probably a princess, or something very close. Elise brought a white lacy thing that probably used to be a curtain, and draped it over me like a dress. Elina brought me a toy tiara -- you know the kind. Big gaudy plastic jewels, and this one even had a bit of a feather boa thing going on. Elise brought out a huge handful of those Hawaiian leis... they were all tangled together, so she had me hold them.

"All right, princess, it is time for you to get married!" declared Elise.

I blinked in surprise. Ah, so that's what I'm getting dressed up as. Not just a princess: a princess bride. White curtain equals wedding dress. Bundle of leis equals bouquet. Aha! Except... I don't have a groom. "Married? Um... I need a prince for that, don't I?"

Elise sighed heavily as if this was a minor inconvenience. "Well... you will just have to pretend he is there," she said. "Come on, it's time to get married. Get up!"

So, I stood up. And I started my procession. Elise was behind me, carrying my train (yeah, it was a long curtain) and singing something that almost sounded like a wedding march, but not quite. Elina frolicked behind me, happy as can be. I think she was self-declared flower girl or something, throwing invisible flowers. Evie followed along too.

I think I walked around the house twice before Elise finally whispered to me, "Your prince! He is up there!" Ah, up the stairs. No wonder I couldn't find my fiancé; he was upstairs the whole time. At the top of the stairs, apparently, was the altar, where my invisible man was waiting for me.

"Say yes!" egged Elise.

"...Yes?"

"Oh, he said yes, too!" ...Yay? I stared stupidly at my invisible fiancé. "Well, give him your hand so he can put the ring on it!" I did. "Now you give him his ring!"

I pulled out an invisible ring and searched for his invisible hand. I wasn't sure when I found it, so I just kind of guessed as to where his ring finger was. Hopefully I got the right one.

"All right! You may now kiss the bride!" Oh, I have to kiss him too, don't I? I pecked at the air, again hoping my aim had been true, since I couldn't see him. Then, Elise and Elina and Evie began to celebrate and sing that strange weddingish march again. I came down the stairs, holding hands with my new husband.

Then Elise remembered my bouquet. "Okay, now go stand on that stair, and throw your bouquet!" Then in a whisper, "And I'll catch it." Well, I threw it. And Elise caught it.

And then... "Celebrate good times, come on!" There was a bit of dancing, and then, suddenly, the game was over. All my wedding clothes were removed. Time for a new game, perhaps?

"Oh!" said Elise! "How about you pretend to be my daughter, and I'll pretend to be your mother, okay?"

"Okay," I said. "Hello, Mother!"

"Hello, daughter," she replied. Then, with a pensive look on her face, she continued, "Daughter, I think it is about time for you to get married."

I blinked. Well, I guess I'm not married anymore, because that game ended. So that makes me single again, and eligible for marriage -- again.

"But -- mother!" I stammered. "I -- I --- I, uh, don't want to get married!"

"Don't worry, daughter. When you get married, I will be in the audience," she said comfortingly, as if that should quell all my fears.

"But... but... what about after the ceremony is over?" I asked her, lip quivering.

"Well, you will leave me and live with your husband. And then, when you are old enough, you will have a child, and then you will be the mother."

Well, I suppose that is how it goes. "A... a baby?" I said quietly.

"Yes, daughter. A baby is a lot of work you know," she said sternly. "But I think you are ready. It is time for you to get married!" Man, my mother must really want me out of the house.

"But -- I can't get married! I don't know anyone who wants to marry me!" I cried.

"Here, take this basket!" I took the invisible basket. "Now go pick wildflowers and wait for a prince to find you."

I blinked and looked at my basket. All I had to do was go pick wildflowers? And my prince would just... magically show up? Mother Elise got a little impatient. "Over there!" she motioned, maternally pushing me over to an innocent-looking, but kind of romantic, invisible patch of wildflowers. They were the tall, yellow kind. I began to hum in anticipation as I started to fill my little basket.

Sure enough, it didn't take very long before another invisible prince showed up. Really, it only took a few seconds. He must have been waiting for me, or something. [If only finding your prince was really that easy!] "Look! There he is!" whispered my mother. It was a good thing she was there to point him out to me, or else I wouldn't have seen him. Invisibility can have that effect on people.

The prince and I danced. It was a waltz, my favorite. He was a good dancer, so of course, he stole my heart right then. But before I knew it, the dance was over, and the prince was gone, and I dejectedly went back to my house where mother Elise was waiting for me. Elina was giggling about something as usual, and Evie was watching us (she was so patient).

Well, my mother had news for me. "Quick! We have to get you dressed!"

"Dressed? Dressed for what?"

"Your wedding, of course!"

I gasped. "I'm marrying the prince?"

"Yes, yes. Your boyfriend is getting ready at his house." And, as she dressed me up, she described to me how he would look. "He will be wearing nice, black pants, and a white shirt, and a black coat, and a black bow around his neck, and socks, and shoes, and he will look just --" she paused to find an appropriate word. "Just -- awesome!"

"Just awesome?" giggled Evie.

"Yes," said Elise.

"What does he... er... what does he look like, mother?" I asked.

"Oh, he is very handsome, daughter. He has blue eyes and he is just as tall as you." My height, eh? Perfect. That means I don't have to look up or down to see his eyes. Too bad they're blue. I rather like the brown kind of eyes. But I was satisfied.

We had another procession, and then we climbed the stairs again, and there was my prince waiting for me at the altar. We exchanged I-do's and rings, kissed, and then we came back down the stairs holding hands. I threw my bouquet again, and Elise caught it.

After that, I decided it was time to play a bit more with the other two girls. (Not only that, but I decided that I rather liked this prince and wanted to keep him. I couldn't bear marrying again -- at least not today, that is.)

Evie brought out her toy animals. We counted them -- sixteen. And then, Evie hid all the little toy animals around the kitchen. Then Elise, Elina, and I had to find them all. You'd think it'd be easy to find them, but it was remarkable how well some of them blended into the scenery. We found them all, and then I got to hide them in the TV room. Evie, Elise, and Elina found them all, and then Elise hid them in the TV room, then Evie hid them in the toy room. For our last round, Elise hid them in the toy room again.

Then Elise and Evie wanted to play hairdresser. They each got their turn to play with my hair... which for the most part was painless until Elina started to yank on it. We even played shaver -- Evie collected bubbles into a toy cup and she'd dab them on our faces (like shaving cream!). Then we'd shave them off with toy spoons. There, we were all clean-shaven. Can't have any bearded girls running around, now can we?

After that, Evie noted that her parents should be home soon. "We have time for a short movie but not a long one," she said. I agreed that that was a good idea, and with that we tried to clean up the TV room (it was a vain effort it seems, because Elina seems to enjoy bringing out toys of all sorts by the dozen) and we watched episodes of the Pink Panther cartoons.

We all sat down and watched. Except for Elina; I suppose it was her turn to play pretend with me. I think her game was a strange combination of matchmaker/house. It was very repetitive; I was glad there was something to watch at the same time.

"Bed time, go sleep." I leaned back and closed my eyes, and then, almost immediately, "Wake up, breakfast!" And there was a little hat shoved at me. I would eat my invisible breakfast. When I was done, "Bed time, go sleep!" I leaned back and closed my eyes again. Then, "Wake up, breakfast!" And I'd eat my pretend breakfast again. This happened for about six times. I found out eventually that my breakfast was cereal ("Oh, my favorite!").

Then, "Bath time!" The hat that used to be my breakfast bowl was now a bathing sponge. As she scrubbed my face and neck, she sang to the tune of "You'll Bring Honor To Us All (The Matchmaker's Song)" from Mulan -- "Come for bath, don't take that, la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la, you'll be honor to me too..." Over and over and over again. She eventually was satisfied that I was clean.

"There, all clean."

"Oh, good," I said.

Then Elina curled up next to me to watch Pink Panther with us. Elise used one of my calves as a pillow. We continued to watch cartoons until Brother and Sister Jimenez came home.

With that, I was taken home and my adventures were over.

Sad day.