I have a roommate who I never really see... all during the day she is working and playing somewhere, and generally she doesn't get home until about 2 am every morning, at which point I'm definitely in bed. This is Rochelle. And she should grow up and be a motivational counselor type person.
Tonight... or I suppose this morning, Rochelle came home to find everyone here awake, and writing essays. (The big paper, which I was only half done with, was due at 11am that morning...) Everyone was pretty darn stressed. But... apparently I was even more stressed than everyone else. She came down upon me and accused me of the serious crime of emanating great waves of stress throughout the apartment... "Jenna, we're gonna do some breathing."
I stare at her in bewilderment. Breathing?
Rochelle promptly turns off my light. She sets her way-cool candle down on my desk... and then... "Breathe in... breathe out... breathe in... breathe out..." I am too tired to argue. I suppose I can follow directions long enough to make her happy and make her go away.
But then.
"All right! REPEAT AFTER ME!"
Oh no? Yelling now are we? Oh joy, what is she going to make me say?! "Okay..."
"MY NAME IS JENNA MARIE GRIFFIN!"
"My name is Jenna Marie Griffin?"
"I AM A DAUGHTER OF GOD!"
"I am a daughter of Go-"
"I'M GOING TO ACE ALL MY FINALS!"
"I'm going to ace all my finals..."
"I KICK ROCHELLE'S BUTT EVERYDAY AT SCHOOL! I'M AMAZINGLY COOL! I'M REALLY PRETTY! EVERYONE ONE IS AMAZED BY ME... AND RYAN STRONG IS FREAKING IN LOVE WITH ME!" At this point Rachel, Hillary, and Jackie are all cracking up at Rochelle and I. I kind of look up at Rochelle like she's crazy while blushing at that last part. She gives this ridiculous repeat-after-me-or-die look... so, having forgotten the majority of what she'd said... "Ditto?"
"AMEN! GLORY, HALLELUJAH!"
And I am left to finish that blasted research paper.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Monday, December 17, 2007
Could my life be any more... random?
I've got a lot of random things to tell you about... including a potato gun, a spaz trip to Salt Lake, the lack of hat-wearing to ward prayer, and the occurrence of chocolate cake.
Well... here's the thing. We poor college students are surrounded by snow. It's really cold. And there is a TON of snow. What would you do? Build a snowman? We did too! Make snowangels? We did too! Throw snowballs? We did to-- Oh. Wait. We DIDN'T. I know how much your jaw just dropped. I hear the wheels turning in your head... What? No snowball fights? None at all?
A note of explanation. It is currently against Provo city law to throw snowballs. It's against the honor code to do illegal things... and thus, no one throws snowballs for fear of getting kicked out of the university. It really is quite depressing.
I was going to go on a date with Ryan sometime this weekend... we were going to go bowling and get pizza. But... we forgot. You'll understand why (besides the fact that it's finals week) shortly.
Ryan and I were feeling that widespread depression resulting from the inability to throw snowballs acutely. Furthermore, somehow Ryan had gotten the idea that he didn't have a hobby (besides exploring the campus grounds) and he needed one. He wasn't taking any of my suggestions seriously (he didn't think he'd be too spectacular at sword fighting and he thought he was too poor to go skydiving for a hobby). Then he got desperate, and we started surfing the Net for random hobbies that poor Ryan could take up. He stumbled upon a video of some kid firing a... spudgun? Oh goodness. That's right! A potato-firing device of grand proportions.
The two of us watch the produce accelerator with rapture. We pretty much are thinking exactly the same thing at this point. He looks over at me, and says, "Jenna. We HAVE to build one of those." We start the initial plans for our weapon of mashed destruction immediately (at which point we both forget about the date). Since us poor college students have no power tools... we'll have to crash in North Salt Lake at his grandparent's house (more specifically the garage) which has everything we could possibly need. Hillary'll have to come with us, because she has a car, and at the end of day, us two girls can crash at her house... half a block away (how convenient). Ryan already figured out exactly where the nearest Home Depot is too. Pretty much... we are way too excited for our own good. The thing is, we can't tell too many people about this... because then EVERYONE would want in on it.
Well, the next morning I wake up to see Rachel and Hillary packing... Wait, WHAT? Why? Why are you leaving me? I put on my best sad face at their departure, when... "Hey, Jenna! You should come too!" Oh!
"Where are you going?" Well, they were going to their homes... so that they could go to a missionary farewell the following morning. Upon further inquiry, I discover that this almost-missionary is Ben. At one point about two months ago, Rachel and Hillary were moping about because their friend Ben from high school had promised to come over, and... he hadn't. And this was the third time this had happened. Furthermore, Hillary is pretty much head-over-heels in love with this mystery Ben. So. I steal Rachel's cell phone. Browse through the contact list. "Ben Poulsen?" Is this the Ben? They nod forlornly. Yes. That was him. Love-stricken Hillary even tells me that that is his home phone number, and exactly how you can get his mother to hand the phone to him. Oh, well. This is useful information.
I press the talk button, and put the phone to my ear. My roommates are looking at me like deer in headlights. "Are... are you actually calling him?"
"Yes. I have to scold him." I don't quite remember what Ben and I talked about for twenty minutes except that the gist of it was me threatening to send flaming squirrel assassins after him if he didn't get his butt down here to visit Rachel and Hillary soon.
Well, after all this, I figured I wasn't really a complete stranger and decided... okay! I'll go to Bountiful and go to Ben's farewell! This was completely on a whim. I bring books so that I can study. I don't. Mostly I eat and sleep and go to farewells. And listen to Christmas music and send Rachel crazy messages. At one point Rachel's dad came in with Nerf guns and attacked us. Then he let us keep the guns and ammunition as early Christmas presents. The two of us were thrilled, and immediately started plotting how we would torture dear Jackie when we got home. For dinner tonight, I had seven plate-sized blueberry pancakes. Why? Well, that was how many I was given. And... they were darn good. And... I wanted to see how many I could eat before I was too full to belch in approval.
We got back in time for ward prayer, but because Rachel's mother had sent home extremely-stuffed stockings full of goodies for all six of us roomies and six beautifully wrapped packages that contained amazing fluffy scarves, we broke tradition. That's right. We DIDN'T wear hats. We wore scarves. I show up a mere five minutes early (usually it's about ten) to be confronted by dear Robert, my home teacher. He was complaining about how I hadn't been home when he had spontaneously tried to come visit me. I am laughing at him, and I then notice Ryan moping around in the background pretending to be a ghost.
Ryan has this tendency to pretend he's not there and be a ghost until he finally decides it's worth gathering up the courage to come and talk to me. I am perfectly content to just let him do this. But Ryan has recently tried to convince me that he "is not a ghost," and since I had already broken the hat thing... I could break another unwritten tradition. "Hello, Ryan!" I was not expecting him to be so thrilled that I had noticed him and actually started talking to him first. He lit up instantly. I'm not sure I can even begin to describe how funny it was. So that's how I ended up breaking a third tradition... I was talking to Ryan and then ward prayer started... and... I was not sitting in my traditional spot on the staircase with my short roommates (who happen to be giggling and shaking their heads at me). Oh snap.
After ward prayer... my friend Sarah pokes me as I've resumed conversation with Ryan. I turn around to an offer I cannot refuse. Sarah... has... chocolate... cake... I hurriedly say goodbye to Ryan and I invade Sarah's apartment. "I'm really, really sorry, it's just that I made too much and I'm trying to get rid of..." I kind of just laugh at her. "No, no, any time!"
I come back to my apartment... and realize I have forgotten my keys. I pound on my door. This is a surefire way to get all your roommates out in the hall. So, when I open the door, I am pounced upon instantly. I went from a singular person carrying a chocolate cake to a large mass of six girls clumped together cradling a chocolate cake. "What... what... what... is it..." "Oooooh... oh oh oh...." "Can... can... can... I have some?" "Shaaaaarrreeee? Share share share?" Remember now that we are all stressing out majorly and that chocolate is a cure-all (ooh, FYI, I've been eating chocolate all semester and no migraines... joy!) for anything stress related. This is also a fresh, warm, and extremely aromatic chocolate cake. I put on the counter and let my roommates have at it. I go check my email, preferring to not be a part of this frenzy (I would have been participating if I wasn't stuffed full of pancakes). I come back seventy-five seconds later, only to find... GASP! The chocolate cake is GONE. Gone. Eaten already. The WHOLE thing. Not a single crumb left. Not only was the pan empty, all of the cake's former glory was in the bellies of my dear roommates. I wasn't too disappointed since I was so full, but I just shook my head at my ravenous roomies and made my way over back to Sarah's place to return the pan.
She opens the door and looks at me warily. "I'm here to return your pan!" I say brightly. "It's all gone! My roomies found it!"
"Well... did you get any?"
"No... I left for a few seconds, and I came back, and it was gone."
Maybe I should have lied, because Sarah was distraught. She attacked her apartment to find a Snickers bar to give me (she didn't like Snickers and had been given one). I just laughed at the ridiculousness of the situation.
Anyway, that is all for now! I will see you all next week!
Well... here's the thing. We poor college students are surrounded by snow. It's really cold. And there is a TON of snow. What would you do? Build a snowman? We did too! Make snowangels? We did too! Throw snowballs? We did to-- Oh. Wait. We DIDN'T. I know how much your jaw just dropped. I hear the wheels turning in your head... What? No snowball fights? None at all?
A note of explanation. It is currently against Provo city law to throw snowballs. It's against the honor code to do illegal things... and thus, no one throws snowballs for fear of getting kicked out of the university. It really is quite depressing.
I was going to go on a date with Ryan sometime this weekend... we were going to go bowling and get pizza. But... we forgot. You'll understand why (besides the fact that it's finals week) shortly.
Ryan and I were feeling that widespread depression resulting from the inability to throw snowballs acutely. Furthermore, somehow Ryan had gotten the idea that he didn't have a hobby (besides exploring the campus grounds) and he needed one. He wasn't taking any of my suggestions seriously (he didn't think he'd be too spectacular at sword fighting and he thought he was too poor to go skydiving for a hobby). Then he got desperate, and we started surfing the Net for random hobbies that poor Ryan could take up. He stumbled upon a video of some kid firing a... spudgun? Oh goodness. That's right! A potato-firing device of grand proportions.
The two of us watch the produce accelerator with rapture. We pretty much are thinking exactly the same thing at this point. He looks over at me, and says, "Jenna. We HAVE to build one of those." We start the initial plans for our weapon of mashed destruction immediately (at which point we both forget about the date). Since us poor college students have no power tools... we'll have to crash in North Salt Lake at his grandparent's house (more specifically the garage) which has everything we could possibly need. Hillary'll have to come with us, because she has a car, and at the end of day, us two girls can crash at her house... half a block away (how convenient). Ryan already figured out exactly where the nearest Home Depot is too. Pretty much... we are way too excited for our own good. The thing is, we can't tell too many people about this... because then EVERYONE would want in on it.
Well, the next morning I wake up to see Rachel and Hillary packing... Wait, WHAT? Why? Why are you leaving me? I put on my best sad face at their departure, when... "Hey, Jenna! You should come too!" Oh!
"Where are you going?" Well, they were going to their homes... so that they could go to a missionary farewell the following morning. Upon further inquiry, I discover that this almost-missionary is Ben. At one point about two months ago, Rachel and Hillary were moping about because their friend Ben from high school had promised to come over, and... he hadn't. And this was the third time this had happened. Furthermore, Hillary is pretty much head-over-heels in love with this mystery Ben. So. I steal Rachel's cell phone. Browse through the contact list. "Ben Poulsen?" Is this the Ben? They nod forlornly. Yes. That was him. Love-stricken Hillary even tells me that that is his home phone number, and exactly how you can get his mother to hand the phone to him. Oh, well. This is useful information.
I press the talk button, and put the phone to my ear. My roommates are looking at me like deer in headlights. "Are... are you actually calling him?"
"Yes. I have to scold him." I don't quite remember what Ben and I talked about for twenty minutes except that the gist of it was me threatening to send flaming squirrel assassins after him if he didn't get his butt down here to visit Rachel and Hillary soon.
Well, after all this, I figured I wasn't really a complete stranger and decided... okay! I'll go to Bountiful and go to Ben's farewell! This was completely on a whim. I bring books so that I can study. I don't. Mostly I eat and sleep and go to farewells. And listen to Christmas music and send Rachel crazy messages. At one point Rachel's dad came in with Nerf guns and attacked us. Then he let us keep the guns and ammunition as early Christmas presents. The two of us were thrilled, and immediately started plotting how we would torture dear Jackie when we got home. For dinner tonight, I had seven plate-sized blueberry pancakes. Why? Well, that was how many I was given. And... they were darn good. And... I wanted to see how many I could eat before I was too full to belch in approval.
We got back in time for ward prayer, but because Rachel's mother had sent home extremely-stuffed stockings full of goodies for all six of us roomies and six beautifully wrapped packages that contained amazing fluffy scarves, we broke tradition. That's right. We DIDN'T wear hats. We wore scarves. I show up a mere five minutes early (usually it's about ten) to be confronted by dear Robert, my home teacher. He was complaining about how I hadn't been home when he had spontaneously tried to come visit me. I am laughing at him, and I then notice Ryan moping around in the background pretending to be a ghost.
Ryan has this tendency to pretend he's not there and be a ghost until he finally decides it's worth gathering up the courage to come and talk to me. I am perfectly content to just let him do this. But Ryan has recently tried to convince me that he "is not a ghost," and since I had already broken the hat thing... I could break another unwritten tradition. "Hello, Ryan!" I was not expecting him to be so thrilled that I had noticed him and actually started talking to him first. He lit up instantly. I'm not sure I can even begin to describe how funny it was. So that's how I ended up breaking a third tradition... I was talking to Ryan and then ward prayer started... and... I was not sitting in my traditional spot on the staircase with my short roommates (who happen to be giggling and shaking their heads at me). Oh snap.
After ward prayer... my friend Sarah pokes me as I've resumed conversation with Ryan. I turn around to an offer I cannot refuse. Sarah... has... chocolate... cake... I hurriedly say goodbye to Ryan and I invade Sarah's apartment. "I'm really, really sorry, it's just that I made too much and I'm trying to get rid of..." I kind of just laugh at her. "No, no, any time!"
I come back to my apartment... and realize I have forgotten my keys. I pound on my door. This is a surefire way to get all your roommates out in the hall. So, when I open the door, I am pounced upon instantly. I went from a singular person carrying a chocolate cake to a large mass of six girls clumped together cradling a chocolate cake. "What... what... what... is it..." "Oooooh... oh oh oh...." "Can... can... can... I have some?" "Shaaaaarrreeee? Share share share?" Remember now that we are all stressing out majorly and that chocolate is a cure-all (ooh, FYI, I've been eating chocolate all semester and no migraines... joy!) for anything stress related. This is also a fresh, warm, and extremely aromatic chocolate cake. I put on the counter and let my roommates have at it. I go check my email, preferring to not be a part of this frenzy (I would have been participating if I wasn't stuffed full of pancakes). I come back seventy-five seconds later, only to find... GASP! The chocolate cake is GONE. Gone. Eaten already. The WHOLE thing. Not a single crumb left. Not only was the pan empty, all of the cake's former glory was in the bellies of my dear roommates. I wasn't too disappointed since I was so full, but I just shook my head at my ravenous roomies and made my way over back to Sarah's place to return the pan.
She opens the door and looks at me warily. "I'm here to return your pan!" I say brightly. "It's all gone! My roomies found it!"
"Well... did you get any?"
"No... I left for a few seconds, and I came back, and it was gone."
Maybe I should have lied, because Sarah was distraught. She attacked her apartment to find a Snickers bar to give me (she didn't like Snickers and had been given one). I just laughed at the ridiculousness of the situation.
Anyway, that is all for now! I will see you all next week!
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Dodging Boys and Spinning Plates.
Have you ever seen one those variety show guys who spin plates? They go to catch one plate, and a plate on the other side starts to fall... so the plate-spinner runs over to catch that one... another falls... It's an amazing feat if the guy can keep all the plates spinning. I have come to connect with this poor guy. Constantly catching falling plates. It's like my life!
Anyway. Right now is the time where I attempt to juggle all my classes... all my papers... all my midterms... all my finals... all my dates... all my life...
Well, school is the boring part of my life right now. On to what might be considered interesting aspects of my life.
It seems I have become a victim of the attention of quite a few guys. I happen to not mind that Ryan likes me, because he's pretty much just as content as I am to just be friends... who happen to go on dates... every once in a while. Unfortunately, not all the guys around here conveniently don't want girlfriends before their missions like Ryan... take Will for instance. Will is one of those guys who is absolutely determined to get a girlfriend, and I seem to be his current target. Cue the sigh of despair.
I went on a date with him last Friday. Mostly I said yes because of what we were doing... Ok, so he got me at the words "Christmas concert"... The choirs and orchestras were spectacular, really. Especially those basses... Anyway.
Will certainly knows how to make a perfectly nice friendship go awkward. He gets depressed a lot... and then the first thing he thinks (and says aloud because he can't seem to differentiate between thought and the spoken word) is that he needs a girlfriend. And that his life would be magically wonderful if he had one. I always respond to this strange theory of his with hysterical laughter. Then I always make sure to tell him how ridiculous it is and lay down like concrete the fact that I don't have a boyfriend (and don't want one) and I'm perfectly happy. Sadly, this is the part where he tries to butt in, tell me I'm wrong, and that I'd probably enjoy having a boyfriend because he loves having a girlfriend. Ha. Ha. It was an amusing conversation the first time.
Will certainly knows how to make perfectly nice small talk awkward. At one point I informed him it was supposed to snow anywhere up to a foot the next weekend... he comments, with a rather sly note in his voice, that it's definitely cuddle weather... and that he didn't have anyone to cuddle with. Ugh. I respond with laughter (what else was I supposed to say?).
Will certainly knows how to make an innocent knock at the door scare the living daylights out of me. I was innocently cutting open a roll for a mini-sandwich when there came a particularly loud knock at the door. All of us ignore it... we don't really care who it is... we're pretty much stressed out of our minds... The mysterious visitor knocks again, this time more urgently and desperately. Jackie opens the door. From the kitchen, I hear Will's voice sounding off a rehearsed-sounding speech about how it's nearing finals and thus he is giving away free hugs and if anyone here wanted a hug.
Now see, I am pretty much famous in the ward for hugging everyone at the slightest excuse... I am well-known as the hug-lover. (In fact, as a silly side story, I was so tired the other day that I walked past my guy-friends Erik and Ryan without seeing them. Erik called out to me and asked if I was okay... I say I'm just tired, which was an understatement. Erik then asks if I'd like a hug... well, of course I did! I gave Erik a hug/ Erik gave me a hug while we were both walking, which proved difficult because he's so much taller than I am. It turned out to be the funniest hug I'd ever had. Immediately thereafter Ryan complains about not getting a hug, so I gave him a walk-hug too. Will was behind us somewhere watching...).
Back to the story, forgive me for the sidetrack. Well, Hillary bolts into the kitchen. I have told her all my suspicions about Will, and she pretty much... well, she feels sorry for me. She whispers to me urgently, "Jenna! We have to get you out of here!" She shoves me out into the twenty degree cold with knife and roll in hand without a sweater or jacket of any sort as I hear Will asking, "Is... is there... any one else here that needs a hug?" The door shuts and I am suddenly a very cold hobo with enough food for half a meal. I realize I have no keys either. I looked around at the snow... watched my breath for a while... watched the fog in the window... It was very uneventful. Then, Hillary suddenly pulled me back inside. We all looked at each other for a second... then Jackie and Hillary burst into laughter.
They launched into a narrative of Will's visit...they mentioned several times that he actually came into the apartment and looked into my bedroom to make sure I wasn't there. I wasn't sure I liked the drama that was happening, but I figure that's what I get for living with five other girls.
So, I'll be home late on Friday, December 21! I can't wait to see you all, and we should definitely hang out! :)
Anyway. Right now is the time where I attempt to juggle all my classes... all my papers... all my midterms... all my finals... all my dates... all my life...
Well, school is the boring part of my life right now. On to what might be considered interesting aspects of my life.
It seems I have become a victim of the attention of quite a few guys. I happen to not mind that Ryan likes me, because he's pretty much just as content as I am to just be friends... who happen to go on dates... every once in a while. Unfortunately, not all the guys around here conveniently don't want girlfriends before their missions like Ryan... take Will for instance. Will is one of those guys who is absolutely determined to get a girlfriend, and I seem to be his current target. Cue the sigh of despair.
I went on a date with him last Friday. Mostly I said yes because of what we were doing... Ok, so he got me at the words "Christmas concert"... The choirs and orchestras were spectacular, really. Especially those basses... Anyway.
Will certainly knows how to make a perfectly nice friendship go awkward. He gets depressed a lot... and then the first thing he thinks (and says aloud because he can't seem to differentiate between thought and the spoken word) is that he needs a girlfriend. And that his life would be magically wonderful if he had one. I always respond to this strange theory of his with hysterical laughter. Then I always make sure to tell him how ridiculous it is and lay down like concrete the fact that I don't have a boyfriend (and don't want one) and I'm perfectly happy. Sadly, this is the part where he tries to butt in, tell me I'm wrong, and that I'd probably enjoy having a boyfriend because he loves having a girlfriend. Ha. Ha. It was an amusing conversation the first time.
Will certainly knows how to make perfectly nice small talk awkward. At one point I informed him it was supposed to snow anywhere up to a foot the next weekend... he comments, with a rather sly note in his voice, that it's definitely cuddle weather... and that he didn't have anyone to cuddle with. Ugh. I respond with laughter (what else was I supposed to say?).
Will certainly knows how to make an innocent knock at the door scare the living daylights out of me. I was innocently cutting open a roll for a mini-sandwich when there came a particularly loud knock at the door. All of us ignore it... we don't really care who it is... we're pretty much stressed out of our minds... The mysterious visitor knocks again, this time more urgently and desperately. Jackie opens the door. From the kitchen, I hear Will's voice sounding off a rehearsed-sounding speech about how it's nearing finals and thus he is giving away free hugs and if anyone here wanted a hug.
Now see, I am pretty much famous in the ward for hugging everyone at the slightest excuse... I am well-known as the hug-lover. (In fact, as a silly side story, I was so tired the other day that I walked past my guy-friends Erik and Ryan without seeing them. Erik called out to me and asked if I was okay... I say I'm just tired, which was an understatement. Erik then asks if I'd like a hug... well, of course I did! I gave Erik a hug/ Erik gave me a hug while we were both walking, which proved difficult because he's so much taller than I am. It turned out to be the funniest hug I'd ever had. Immediately thereafter Ryan complains about not getting a hug, so I gave him a walk-hug too. Will was behind us somewhere watching...).
Back to the story, forgive me for the sidetrack. Well, Hillary bolts into the kitchen. I have told her all my suspicions about Will, and she pretty much... well, she feels sorry for me. She whispers to me urgently, "Jenna! We have to get you out of here!" She shoves me out into the twenty degree cold with knife and roll in hand without a sweater or jacket of any sort as I hear Will asking, "Is... is there... any one else here that needs a hug?" The door shuts and I am suddenly a very cold hobo with enough food for half a meal. I realize I have no keys either. I looked around at the snow... watched my breath for a while... watched the fog in the window... It was very uneventful. Then, Hillary suddenly pulled me back inside. We all looked at each other for a second... then Jackie and Hillary burst into laughter.
They launched into a narrative of Will's visit...they mentioned several times that he actually came into the apartment and looked into my bedroom to make sure I wasn't there. I wasn't sure I liked the drama that was happening, but I figure that's what I get for living with five other girls.
So, I'll be home late on Friday, December 21! I can't wait to see you all, and we should definitely hang out! :)
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