Oh man, oh man! It's snowing! Hard core!

Eehehehee!
Snow! It's snowing. Everything is turning white! Ahahaa! And we are already having snowball fights! :)
I also built a snowman.

Anyway, that's it for recent developments. In less recent news we have a few mildly interesting stories...

The Orchard
So... my Book of Mormon class has a party at my professor's orchard. Fun fun.

We pile out of the big university vans and toward a huge table full of raw hot dogs and hamburgers. Brother Wilson's first question was, "Soo.... who wants to cook?" He said this while motioning toward a big barbecue. Okay, so all the girls shrink away, probably thinking about how manly a job barbecuing things is. So I look over at the boys... Oh dear. They are also shrinking away from the grill as if it were toxic. Looks like a job for... JENNA THE BURNINATOR! I volunteer. Oh joy. Now I am slaving over the grill, hoping NOT to burninate anything. Then everyone saunters off into the depths of orchard... and I am left all alone.

Well, of course smoke follows beauty. And since I was the most beautiful (and only) person there, all the burger smoke drifted right in my face. Coughing, I finish grilling and look around. I'm all alone with the food... but I hear screaming and laughing farther in. I abandon the food and run off to find my friends.

There it is.

The zipline of death.

I approach as Roy comes zooming down. He is caught, and then Michelle goes. She is caught by a few guys. I stand next to Zach. "Have you gone yet?" he asks placidly. "No, I was grilling, remember?" "Ohhh... yeah." Eventually, I say, "Okay, I'll go I guess."

Everyone seems quite excited that I'm ziplining. Why? I wonder. Everyone was going, and no one seemed to excited, except for when Helen went Superman-style.

I jump on. Backwards. Just to mix things up.

Roy and Clifton start pulling me up to the top. I look down when we reach the top. "We're gonna race you, okay?" Roy yells up at me. I laugh. "Go ahead." They launch me... and take off as well. Hm.

I am falling backwards, and it wasn't as exciting as I though it'd be. So... just to make things more exciting, I started kicking and yelling like I was about to die.

That did the trick. ZOOOOOOOOM! I hear screaming behind me. THUNK! I hit the either the knot in the steel rope or a body, I'm not sure. I bounce high in the air, my feet just barely missing Erik's poor face. My head also missed the ground by a single centimeter.

I am out of breath from laughing so hard. Hillary is hyperventilating. "JENNA!!! Don't ever do that again! If you had gotten hurt I would have been legally obligated to help you!" Apparently she's medically trained... and just had my life flash before her eyes. Which I think is weird since she knows nothing about my life... :)

Hillary and I walk back over to where the food is. I grab myself some food and make my over to the campfire. Fun, I guess.

I get bored quickly... so I call up my Dad and talk to him.

Then things get boring again.

So... Brother Wilson brings out the marshmallows, looking warily at me as he sets them out next to the roasters and the campfire. I smile. "Don't worry... Rachel is here to duel with." Brother Wilson, a little relieved, leaves me with the marshmallows. I start roasting them.

Now I don't really like marshmallows... I just like burning them. I say so. Brother Wilson laughs. "Jenna, you missed your calling. You should have been a cub scout!" I look up at him, saying quite seriously, "Well, sorry, I wasn't born a boy."

There is laughter. I happily burninate the marshmallows. Hillary comes to burninate them with me. So does Ryan. I talk with Ryan for a while. We get into a debate about -- hair? He insists it takes guys just as long to do their hair as girls do. After unsuccessfully trying to persuade him otherwise, I just shake my head.

Then... there is an apple fight. BAMMM! Ryan is pelted. I laughed, and I would have joined in... except I'm already covered in bruises (not sure why, I blame sleepdancing). Yay?

Ryan and I talk some more about the most random things. Smiles. (His photo-smiles are really creepy!) Also the potential deadliness of the marshmallow roasters. Then we all burst into songs and sang hymns around the campfire for about half an hour.

Then we set off for the vans so that we could go home. I realize that I haven't nicknamed Ryan.
"Hey! You don't have a nickname yet! I've nicknamed nearly everyone except you! There's Cliftonius, Tsar Alexander, The Willinator, Isaacle... but I haven't nicknamed you!"
"Uhhh...."
I pause. "My dad calls you Grape Man 'cuz I told him about how I asked you to preference!"
"Oh... Grape Man? Grape Guy? ... Grape Crush?"
I laugh.
"Oh wait... that sounds like... never mind..."
"You know I'm going have to call you that now..." I am laughing so hard on the inside because he doesn't realize how accurate this is. Poor boy.

He also promised to bring some Grape Crush (the soda) since I'm never had it before... and thus my childhood is not complete (I was wondering why I hadn't grown up yet). He starts trying to figure out where he can get it... ooh, he sounds serious :P I'm excited... for soda.

When we get back on campus and pile out of the vans... Ryan walks me home. I joke about getting kidnapped between his hall and mine (they are right next to each other). "Well, anytime you need an escort..." "Haha, 3:30 in the morning?" I say it jokingly... but he said he wouldn't mind much, he has to get up early anyway. I think this is ridiculous and tell him so. And then I go inside. Where I am immediately teased by my roommates. Ugh.



Preference

Hillary, Rachel, and I decide we all want to go the Murder Mystery dance in Heber. Hillary has a car, but with three couples... well, let's just say there's not enough seats and it's a forty-five minute drive.
"Okay... so who are we throwing in the trunk?"
"Robert's the smallest... he should go in the trunk!"
"Yeah... but... he's the date of honor. I mean, Hillary's the driver..."
"Oh... good point!"
"Oooh... let's throw Ryan in the trunk!"
Hillary pipes in. "You could sit on each other's laps!"
Rachel and I give horrified looks to her. In near unison, we both exclaim, "I'm not sitting on Ryan's/Clifton's lap!"
Hillary, wide-eyed gasps, and then says, "No no no no! I meant -- I meant that Rachel could sit on Jenna!"
This seemed much more... comfortable. To both of us.


Cold Hands

Oh man, it's cold today. Jackie and I run off to the central building to exchange our dollar bills for quarters. On the way back, I realize my hands are pretty much frozen.

"Argh!" I say. "My hands are freezing! I need a man on both sides to hold hands with!" Jackie laughs so hard.

Later tonight, Jackie comes home, with bright red hands and covered in snow. "Ahhh! I need like... five warm coats and a boyfriend!"

So... we, the women in 126 Robison Hall, have come to the consensus that boyfriends are good for keeping warm. Except none of us have one :P



Well, that's all folks! I hope I'll actually have something interesting to write about next week! (I should, the preference dance is next Saturday!)

The Conclusion of the Grape Saga (We Hope Anyway)

All right. So. Concerning Preference.

I decide to ask Ryan; Hillary decides to ask Robert, Ryan's roommate. Theoretically we should be able to do it at the same time. Theoretically.

Hillary's plan: she has a bag of Goldfish. Her name is hidden somewhere on the bag, and she plans to leave a note, which read something like "Out of all the fish in the sea, I'd like to go to
preference with you! I'd go crackers if you said no Robert! P.S. My name is hidden on the bag of Goldfish."

My plan: Take advantage of the inside jokes. I buy tons of grapes. I plan to spell out "DANCE?" in grapes in front of his door, with identifying features such as "for Ryan" and "from Jenna" on the grape bag…

Our plans combined… doorbell ditch them both at the same time.

So, we head over to Shipp Hall (the men's hall) and walk up the stairs, laden with Goldfish and grapes. But… Robert is chilling in the lobby, precisely where we don't want him to be.

Escape… we have to escape… we knock on Clifton's door, and ask, "Is Clifton there?" His roommates, who answered, say "No…" So, Hillary asks, "Well, is Alex there?" And we barge in and shut the door hastily. No one is there except Benny and Nathan… and we explain our situation to them… We have their apartment as an escape.

Well, as we were hastily closing the door, it had appeared as if Robert was going back into his room. We walk out of Clifton's apartment, and… there is Robert, chilling on the couch. Too
comfortably. Like… he'd never leave.

He asks, "So, what are you guys doing? Dropping something off for Clifton?" I really wish right now that Robert wasn't my home teacher, so that he wouldn't be obligated to speak to us…

Hillary says loudly… "WELL, I GUESS SINCE CLIFTON ISN'T HERE, WE'LL COME BACK LATER!" We hastily leave.

Back in the apartment, we try to come up with some bizarre plot to get Robert back inside his room. Coming up blank, we realize that we can still leave the grape message… that's not for Robert. But, we hide the Goldfish and note in my purse… just in case, by some miracle. In
Shipp Hall again, we stop on the stairs to solidify our plan… Robert walks by to his door, sees us, and starts talking to us again. "You're back!" "Yes, we are." "…What are you doing?" "…Plotting." "Oh… well, see you later." And with that, he enters his room… and shuts the
door!

What luck! We dash up the stairs to his door, and drop the note, and are about to drop the Goldfish when… the door opens. Robert is coming back out. "Oh…" Hillary immediately and flusteredly yells at him, "YOU'RE SUCH A BUM!" He sees the note… with his name on it… "That's for me?" He picks up the Goldfish, and asks, "From which one of you?" Hillary is bright red, and I am on the floor planting grapes in the shape of letters…

"I… guess I'll go inside then…" And he closes the door with our promise to guard his computer… which we didn't notice until then. Whoops. For some strange reason, he leaves the Goldfish and note on the floor outside.

We busiedly spell out "DANCE?" on the ground… and it seems all is almost well. Hillary figures we still might as well knock… And we dash down the stairs the basement… Hillary has enough tact to yell, "WE'RE SUCH NERDS!"… unfortunately, right as the door opens.

We exit out the basement door, and take the long way home, laughing hysterically… and wondering what else could have gone wrong. "Well… at least Ryan wasn't out there too!" So true. That would have definitely made it much worse. :D

Well, we wait for a while… and finally we start family home evening… during the opening prayer, there is a loud knock on my door. And at the cue of "Amen" Hillary and I leap off our butts and dash to the door. Somehow Jackie gets there first and opens it… and says, "Jenna-Jenna!" Hillary also gets there first… and immediately starts squealing "Yaaay!!!!"

I finally get to look out my own door… and there on the ground, spelled in grapes, "HECK YES!" It was so great. Except I was just like… Oh. My. Goodness. Robert hasn't responded to Hillary yet… but then again, I did provide an obvious way to respond, unlike Hillary.

The Grape Motif

This week has been uber-stressful... but, like any stressful week, there are times when stress-ridden people have some pretty hilarious experiences... And this week, grapes happen to be it. The reason for such stress? Our first government midterm which covered an ENORMOUS
amount of material. I think in total I studied about fifteen hours for it, and I ended up getting an 82, but now my goal is to always do better than that on future ones! :D

Well, here's Grape Story #1... I hope you enjoy it.

Ryan randomly asked me if I liked grapes one night... Well, I happened to be hungry at the time (when am I not hungry?) and immediately I imagined big, juicy, purple grapes... so of course I
have to respond with a yes. So, in the end, Ryan and I have plans to eat all his surplus grapes... which I think is a very good idea, since I <3 grapes.

I forget to inform Rachel and Hillary about the grape eating festival, and when he asks me after government class if I'd like some grapes, Rachel says, "WHAT?" ... Must have seemed truly random I suppose. Quite truly. So Ryan comes over with grapes. And Ryan, my roommates,
and I all eat massive amounts of grapes... and the grapes disappear within a few minutes. But we continue to have fun, listening to Beatles and having funny conversations...

And I forget why, but Ryan makes a VERY bizarre noise. Like... the kind I usually make. Rachel comes out of the hallway, and demands to know why I made the freaky noise... I mean, why should she suspect someone else, huh? I'm always making strange noises and exclamations.

I immediately point the finger at Ryan. Rachel gives me and incredulous look, clearly meaning, "Yeah right. I know you did it, Jenna..." But then Ryan makes the bizarre and indescribable noise once more, and Rachel, overcome with surprise and shock, collapses on the floor in hysterical and quite helpless laughter. No one can see her in the kitchen, but she is writhing on the floor, gasping for breath. I keep trying to tell her that I had been telling the truth, and that I had done my best to warn her, but my pitiful attempts to ease her helpless laughter come to no avail, and she continues to writhe on the floor for about fifteen minutes. Sadly, this is not an
exaggeration. It was quite painful to watch... quite.

But... it wasn't me who made the noise for once. For once. Poor Rachel.

Alas! That is the conclusion of Grape Story #1! Here approaches Grape Story #2!

Two days later, I come home to discover grapes upon the dear table. I am overcome with joy, and leap toward them, exclaiming, "AMAZING!!!! GRAPES!!!!" Rachel happens to be in the kitchen, cooking something or other, and we immediately glance at each other, realzing each other to be thinking EXACTLY the same thing.

We burst into song. "Amaaaazi-i-iing graaaapes, hoooow sweeeet the-e taaaste... that saaaved a-a-a wretch li-ike me!" (Funny aside: the MoTab on TV just started singing Amazing Grace). We proceed to make ridiculously sad puns concerning grapes and grace.

Concerning the government midterm, I quip that I was "saved by the grapes of God", and we proceed to make many borderlining-on-blasphemous grape-grace puns. Sadly enough, the tune
for "Amazing Grapes" remains stuck in our heads like stubborn superglue for the several days, and even remains so now. Stupid superglue... should have thought about the consequences of having such a song stuck in our heads for time and all eternity.

Anyway, that is all as far as grapes go.

As an addendum, I proceeded to have an emotional breakdown (a very loooooong fit of hysterical laughter the night before the midterm)...and was writhing on the floor for a period of time that seemed to be an hour to me. I laughed so hard I was weeping... really, it was amazing. Truly. I highly recommend long fits of laughter to anyone... you can get rid of the most amazing loads of stress that way. :D