So.

I haven't sent off an email for like...two weeks. Two whole weeks. As these two weeks were happening I thought they were quite boring. But I guess I might have a few mildly interesting stories. Maybe.

As with all my stories, all the details are probably not exactly accurate. But I have to make it interesting somehow.

Well, I haven't said anything about that dance I went to with Ryan... I guess I'll write about that. It was last... Saturday. Yes. I do believe that is right. Rachel and Clifton as well as Hillary and Robert decided to join me and Ryan and make a six-some group. Intrigue and excitement. And, since it was girl's choice dance, us girls were in charge. However, neither Hillary nor Rachel seemed particularly thrilled about planning anything for a dinner... So... I decided to make spaghetti and garlic bread and all that exciting stuff. I called up the boys and told them all when to show up... and then I started my work.

It was like an intricate symphony -- everything had to be timed perfectly. Well, I got the meat and the sauce and the noodles timed perfectly. Even the garlic butter ended up right on schedule. I got the butter on the bread and stuck it in the oven at the right time... and then I forgot about it while I made the finishing touches on my spaghetti recipe. I was quite proud of myself. Except for that burning smell. It was really annoying and I couldn't for the life of me figure out what was burning. And then it dawned on me as I set the table...

Oh yeah. Garlic bread.

It would have been divine garlic bread if I hadn't forgotten about it. I had made the perfect garlic butter, and smeared it nicely on the perfect loaf of garlic bread from the Creamery.

I opened the oven door in panic ... and there was the blackest bread I'd ever seen in my life. Along with a billowing cloud of black smoke. Just then I heard a knock on the door. Looking furiously at the clock, I see it's about time for the boys to show up. I dash to the kitchen-hallway door just as Rachel opens the hallway-lobby door... Rachel doesn't have time to greet Ryan or Robert (both were standing there, looking in quite inquisitively) before I blurt out at her, "Rachel! Don't let them in! Keep them in the lobby! Stall!" I don't see Robert's face at all after that, but I caught a glimpse of a bewildered expression on Ryan's face before I slammed the kitchen-hallway door shut in order to prevent the smoke detector from going off.

My cooking-fire-response-team mode has kicked in. However this response-team-member and the cook in me are having a huge argument. With the oven safely turned off, I open the windows, open the back door, prop it open with a chair, turn on the fan (quite useless really, but just in case it helps...). Then I get the Febreeze (for lack of real air freshener) and spray the kitchen down). I stir the sauce, finish setting the table, and then...

I make my out to the lobby. That's where I get some very confused looks from Rachel, Hillary, Robert, and Ryan (sooo many R's!). I was confused too... so... I resorted to a grin. "Garlic bread," I said. "I put it in the oven. Then I forgot about it." That seemed to explain all. I went back into the kitchen, where it smelt faintly of smoke. I heard a knock on the back door. In came Clifton, who informed me it didn't smell like smoke any more... So... I retrieved the others from the lobby.

I wasn't breathing very well. The mad cook in my head was hitting me over my real head for that garlic bread mistake. So, I was starting to grow a bump through the top of my skull... and I pretty much did. I shoveled spaghetti onto six plates... and then I sat at the table. And I couldn't sit still. The mad cook in my head was distracting me (wouldn't you be distracted if you had a mad Frenchwoman screaming about your stupidity and your ignorance relentlessly?). Eventually the spaghetti on the plates disappeared, and the dishes disappeared soon after that.

Now came the fun part... getting to the dance.

So. Three couples = six people. One car = five seats. ... ... Five seats = six people? Yes. That seems about right. Trust me, I'm a math major. Six very small and sardine-like people, though. Rachel and I get in the middle. Then Ryan and Clifton come in on either side. SQUISH. Wow, that's pretty much... wow. I never realized how valuable the air was until I couldn't breathe it. The four of us struggling in the back, Robert gets in the passenger seat, and Hillary gets ready to drive. She looks quite pale. ... Very. She's obviously quite nervous about driving people all the way to Heber.

After about an hour of reciting the Muppets, having a This-Is-The-Song-That-Gets-On

-Everybody's-Nerves (Clifton & Rachel) vs. Yellow-Submarine (me & Ryan) duel, breathing in crazy rhythms, giving one of Ryan's friend-girls advice about college application essays (don't write about chickens) via a cell phone, and even some Yu-Gi-Oh impressions, we finally find the train station.

Yes, the dance is on a train. Really, great fun. I pretty much pretended to dance, although I'm sure it was quite obvious I had NO idea what I was doing. Ryan pretty much did know what he was doing and put me to shame. Hillary also shamed me with her dancing skills.

The ultimate shame came when Ryan, Clifton, and a towel started dancing. Yes, that's right. The Towel Dance, which words cannot describe. Oh, how I would have died for a video camera right then. Yes, died. It would have been worth the camera. We danced for awhile. Or at least everyone else danced, and I had a few arguments with my feet, who resisted every possible dance move that came up in my mind.

Then the six of us moved off to the seating cars, getting hot chocolate and cookies on the way over. Rachel, Clifton, Hillary, and Robert commandeered a group of four seats. Ryan and I sat across from each in another group of four seats. I was quite content (how could I not be, sipping hot chocolate?) and had my legs propped up on the seat next to where Ryan was sitting. I think we were all talking about something random. And then Ryan got up and grabbed my feet (presumably to move them when he decided he'd rather sit next to me than across from me). Now, recall that I had an argument with my feet earlier. Here I pay the consequences, for both feet had sworn an oath to neither listen to or talk to me for the remainder of the night. I will my legs to bend; they do not. Instead the rest of me tilts. Which results in hot chocolate all over the front of the man-shirt I happened to be wearing (Ryan and I dressed up as Gilligan and Skipper, respectively). The warmth all over my front triggered the mad laughter/giggle mechanism, quite involuntarily. Ryan finally ended up where he'd like to sit. I ended up making better friends with Clifton's dancing towel.

Well, after the chocolate had partially dried, the seating situation kind of led to Ryan and I having our own conversation (there was sooo much distance between us two and the other four... we couldn't hear each other's dialogue). I can't remember what it was about for the life of me, but I think it was interesting. At some point the other four left (not sure when that happened... they were sooo far awaaayyy) and then a slow song came on, and Ryan decided to teach me how to slow dance.

I was more hesitant than I usually would have been I think... the last experience trying to cooperate with my feet didn't end well. After I got over the initial shock that my feet were begrudgingly cooperating somewhat (they must have decided I got what I deserved with the hot chocolate incident), I was able to look up... kind of... 'cuz Ryan was right there and that meant I'd have to look right at him. Which would have been a lot easier if he didn't have such nice eyes, truthfully. It would have been easer to dance with Clifton because he has blue eyes (I think?). Anyway, I think I should get lots of bonus points for learning a life skill (that's slow dancing). And Ryan should get bonus points for teaching me.

Eventually we found the other four back on the dance floor. We all danced a little more, and then we ended up back in the seating section. This time Hillary and Robert got to be the lone two. Clifton, Rachel, Ryan, and I had some random fun bobbing our heads in time, debating who in our rooms would get married first (unfortunately, I was placed pretty close to first... I personally don't think that's going to happen. I'm determined to go on a mission...). The train eventually ended up back at the station, and we all piled back into Hillary's car.

Rachel, I think, was the least comfortable this time. She was the only one we didn't manage to get into a seatbelt... so Clifton, Ryan, and I threw our arms around her to, uh... secure her? It was pretty much amazing. As time wore on, hands drew back until no one was holding Rachel steady (I think Ryan was last to move his arm... Least selfish of all us?). So, I guess, if we had gotten into an accident, Rachel would have died. How sad. Well, we called Jackie before midnight to avoid getting "grounded" and then... and then I got really tired. Rachel had a very comfortable shoulder on my left, as she was a little elevated due to the close quarters. Ryan had a comfortable hatted head on my right. I tried both out as pillows and decided that Rachel's shoulder won. Rachel, your shoulder is amazing. If you were taller in real life, I'd be using it as a pillow all the time.

We eventually got home, and piled out of the car. I got a few nice hugs (yessssss) and we all went to bed.

Oh man, oh man! It's snowing! Hard core!

Eehehehee!
Snow! It's snowing. Everything is turning white! Ahahaa! And we are already having snowball fights! :)
I also built a snowman.

Anyway, that's it for recent developments. In less recent news we have a few mildly interesting stories...

The Orchard
So... my Book of Mormon class has a party at my professor's orchard. Fun fun.

We pile out of the big university vans and toward a huge table full of raw hot dogs and hamburgers. Brother Wilson's first question was, "Soo.... who wants to cook?" He said this while motioning toward a big barbecue. Okay, so all the girls shrink away, probably thinking about how manly a job barbecuing things is. So I look over at the boys... Oh dear. They are also shrinking away from the grill as if it were toxic. Looks like a job for... JENNA THE BURNINATOR! I volunteer. Oh joy. Now I am slaving over the grill, hoping NOT to burninate anything. Then everyone saunters off into the depths of orchard... and I am left all alone.

Well, of course smoke follows beauty. And since I was the most beautiful (and only) person there, all the burger smoke drifted right in my face. Coughing, I finish grilling and look around. I'm all alone with the food... but I hear screaming and laughing farther in. I abandon the food and run off to find my friends.

There it is.

The zipline of death.

I approach as Roy comes zooming down. He is caught, and then Michelle goes. She is caught by a few guys. I stand next to Zach. "Have you gone yet?" he asks placidly. "No, I was grilling, remember?" "Ohhh... yeah." Eventually, I say, "Okay, I'll go I guess."

Everyone seems quite excited that I'm ziplining. Why? I wonder. Everyone was going, and no one seemed to excited, except for when Helen went Superman-style.

I jump on. Backwards. Just to mix things up.

Roy and Clifton start pulling me up to the top. I look down when we reach the top. "We're gonna race you, okay?" Roy yells up at me. I laugh. "Go ahead." They launch me... and take off as well. Hm.

I am falling backwards, and it wasn't as exciting as I though it'd be. So... just to make things more exciting, I started kicking and yelling like I was about to die.

That did the trick. ZOOOOOOOOM! I hear screaming behind me. THUNK! I hit the either the knot in the steel rope or a body, I'm not sure. I bounce high in the air, my feet just barely missing Erik's poor face. My head also missed the ground by a single centimeter.

I am out of breath from laughing so hard. Hillary is hyperventilating. "JENNA!!! Don't ever do that again! If you had gotten hurt I would have been legally obligated to help you!" Apparently she's medically trained... and just had my life flash before her eyes. Which I think is weird since she knows nothing about my life... :)

Hillary and I walk back over to where the food is. I grab myself some food and make my over to the campfire. Fun, I guess.

I get bored quickly... so I call up my Dad and talk to him.

Then things get boring again.

So... Brother Wilson brings out the marshmallows, looking warily at me as he sets them out next to the roasters and the campfire. I smile. "Don't worry... Rachel is here to duel with." Brother Wilson, a little relieved, leaves me with the marshmallows. I start roasting them.

Now I don't really like marshmallows... I just like burning them. I say so. Brother Wilson laughs. "Jenna, you missed your calling. You should have been a cub scout!" I look up at him, saying quite seriously, "Well, sorry, I wasn't born a boy."

There is laughter. I happily burninate the marshmallows. Hillary comes to burninate them with me. So does Ryan. I talk with Ryan for a while. We get into a debate about -- hair? He insists it takes guys just as long to do their hair as girls do. After unsuccessfully trying to persuade him otherwise, I just shake my head.

Then... there is an apple fight. BAMMM! Ryan is pelted. I laughed, and I would have joined in... except I'm already covered in bruises (not sure why, I blame sleepdancing). Yay?

Ryan and I talk some more about the most random things. Smiles. (His photo-smiles are really creepy!) Also the potential deadliness of the marshmallow roasters. Then we all burst into songs and sang hymns around the campfire for about half an hour.

Then we set off for the vans so that we could go home. I realize that I haven't nicknamed Ryan.
"Hey! You don't have a nickname yet! I've nicknamed nearly everyone except you! There's Cliftonius, Tsar Alexander, The Willinator, Isaacle... but I haven't nicknamed you!"
"Uhhh...."
I pause. "My dad calls you Grape Man 'cuz I told him about how I asked you to preference!"
"Oh... Grape Man? Grape Guy? ... Grape Crush?"
I laugh.
"Oh wait... that sounds like... never mind..."
"You know I'm going have to call you that now..." I am laughing so hard on the inside because he doesn't realize how accurate this is. Poor boy.

He also promised to bring some Grape Crush (the soda) since I'm never had it before... and thus my childhood is not complete (I was wondering why I hadn't grown up yet). He starts trying to figure out where he can get it... ooh, he sounds serious :P I'm excited... for soda.

When we get back on campus and pile out of the vans... Ryan walks me home. I joke about getting kidnapped between his hall and mine (they are right next to each other). "Well, anytime you need an escort..." "Haha, 3:30 in the morning?" I say it jokingly... but he said he wouldn't mind much, he has to get up early anyway. I think this is ridiculous and tell him so. And then I go inside. Where I am immediately teased by my roommates. Ugh.



Preference

Hillary, Rachel, and I decide we all want to go the Murder Mystery dance in Heber. Hillary has a car, but with three couples... well, let's just say there's not enough seats and it's a forty-five minute drive.
"Okay... so who are we throwing in the trunk?"
"Robert's the smallest... he should go in the trunk!"
"Yeah... but... he's the date of honor. I mean, Hillary's the driver..."
"Oh... good point!"
"Oooh... let's throw Ryan in the trunk!"
Hillary pipes in. "You could sit on each other's laps!"
Rachel and I give horrified looks to her. In near unison, we both exclaim, "I'm not sitting on Ryan's/Clifton's lap!"
Hillary, wide-eyed gasps, and then says, "No no no no! I meant -- I meant that Rachel could sit on Jenna!"
This seemed much more... comfortable. To both of us.


Cold Hands

Oh man, it's cold today. Jackie and I run off to the central building to exchange our dollar bills for quarters. On the way back, I realize my hands are pretty much frozen.

"Argh!" I say. "My hands are freezing! I need a man on both sides to hold hands with!" Jackie laughs so hard.

Later tonight, Jackie comes home, with bright red hands and covered in snow. "Ahhh! I need like... five warm coats and a boyfriend!"

So... we, the women in 126 Robison Hall, have come to the consensus that boyfriends are good for keeping warm. Except none of us have one :P



Well, that's all folks! I hope I'll actually have something interesting to write about next week! (I should, the preference dance is next Saturday!)

The Conclusion of the Grape Saga (We Hope Anyway)

All right. So. Concerning Preference.

I decide to ask Ryan; Hillary decides to ask Robert, Ryan's roommate. Theoretically we should be able to do it at the same time. Theoretically.

Hillary's plan: she has a bag of Goldfish. Her name is hidden somewhere on the bag, and she plans to leave a note, which read something like "Out of all the fish in the sea, I'd like to go to
preference with you! I'd go crackers if you said no Robert! P.S. My name is hidden on the bag of Goldfish."

My plan: Take advantage of the inside jokes. I buy tons of grapes. I plan to spell out "DANCE?" in grapes in front of his door, with identifying features such as "for Ryan" and "from Jenna" on the grape bag…

Our plans combined… doorbell ditch them both at the same time.

So, we head over to Shipp Hall (the men's hall) and walk up the stairs, laden with Goldfish and grapes. But… Robert is chilling in the lobby, precisely where we don't want him to be.

Escape… we have to escape… we knock on Clifton's door, and ask, "Is Clifton there?" His roommates, who answered, say "No…" So, Hillary asks, "Well, is Alex there?" And we barge in and shut the door hastily. No one is there except Benny and Nathan… and we explain our situation to them… We have their apartment as an escape.

Well, as we were hastily closing the door, it had appeared as if Robert was going back into his room. We walk out of Clifton's apartment, and… there is Robert, chilling on the couch. Too
comfortably. Like… he'd never leave.

He asks, "So, what are you guys doing? Dropping something off for Clifton?" I really wish right now that Robert wasn't my home teacher, so that he wouldn't be obligated to speak to us…

Hillary says loudly… "WELL, I GUESS SINCE CLIFTON ISN'T HERE, WE'LL COME BACK LATER!" We hastily leave.

Back in the apartment, we try to come up with some bizarre plot to get Robert back inside his room. Coming up blank, we realize that we can still leave the grape message… that's not for Robert. But, we hide the Goldfish and note in my purse… just in case, by some miracle. In
Shipp Hall again, we stop on the stairs to solidify our plan… Robert walks by to his door, sees us, and starts talking to us again. "You're back!" "Yes, we are." "…What are you doing?" "…Plotting." "Oh… well, see you later." And with that, he enters his room… and shuts the
door!

What luck! We dash up the stairs to his door, and drop the note, and are about to drop the Goldfish when… the door opens. Robert is coming back out. "Oh…" Hillary immediately and flusteredly yells at him, "YOU'RE SUCH A BUM!" He sees the note… with his name on it… "That's for me?" He picks up the Goldfish, and asks, "From which one of you?" Hillary is bright red, and I am on the floor planting grapes in the shape of letters…

"I… guess I'll go inside then…" And he closes the door with our promise to guard his computer… which we didn't notice until then. Whoops. For some strange reason, he leaves the Goldfish and note on the floor outside.

We busiedly spell out "DANCE?" on the ground… and it seems all is almost well. Hillary figures we still might as well knock… And we dash down the stairs the basement… Hillary has enough tact to yell, "WE'RE SUCH NERDS!"… unfortunately, right as the door opens.

We exit out the basement door, and take the long way home, laughing hysterically… and wondering what else could have gone wrong. "Well… at least Ryan wasn't out there too!" So true. That would have definitely made it much worse. :D

Well, we wait for a while… and finally we start family home evening… during the opening prayer, there is a loud knock on my door. And at the cue of "Amen" Hillary and I leap off our butts and dash to the door. Somehow Jackie gets there first and opens it… and says, "Jenna-Jenna!" Hillary also gets there first… and immediately starts squealing "Yaaay!!!!"

I finally get to look out my own door… and there on the ground, spelled in grapes, "HECK YES!" It was so great. Except I was just like… Oh. My. Goodness. Robert hasn't responded to Hillary yet… but then again, I did provide an obvious way to respond, unlike Hillary.