I Just Had to Share

So... Dallin is one of those quiet guys who never really says that much. But... "I got run over by a reindeer!"

I look at Dallin... "... You what? You got run over by a reindeer?" I laugh.

"Well, not a reindeer... just a deer... but yeah, I did get run over by a deer!" He proceeded to explain the story, although it was a very dry and anticlimactic one. Then I said... "Hey, Dallin. Why don't you write a tall tale about it. I mean, it's not like anyone else experienced it... no one would ever know you weren't exaggerating! Write a story for your posterity!"

"Hm," says Dallin.

Well, this is what Dallin came up with. Enjoy.

----

"The Deer and I"
by Dallin I. Rowley

Last night as I was on a date,
(golf in my lobby—it was great,)
Out the window I did glance,
And saw a deer quietly prance.

I grabbed my camera and did run
To get an image of the fun.
I then saw two—a buck and mate,
But I caused in them a startled state.

They took off at a rapid pace,
But I decided to give them chase.
As they ran 'round the building's side,
To head them off is what I tried.

Our plan worked—we beat them there,
But I glanced 'round and had a scare.
The doe was springing at my right,
And instantly I saw my plight.

She and I were bound to meet,
Like the crossing of two streets.
There was not time to change my course,
But I thought she'd dodge me, like a horse.

I guess she was as shocked as me,
For instead of her trying to flee,
She decided that she would jump,
O're me like I was a stump.

Into the air she did go,
Then we did meet—myself and doe.
Her head did hit me in the side,
My friends did witness me collide.

Then down we fell, with her on top,
And she jumped up and bounded off.
When I recovered, I did cheer:
"I just got tackled by a deer!"

It isn't every day, you know,
That one gets tackled by a doe.
And I am grateful for my luck,
But glad that it was doe, not buck.

---

Dallin was so pleased when he recited it off to me in choir today.

A Bishop's Challenge.

Ward prayer every Sunday night is usually rather uneventful... It's kind of like family prayer (since none our of individual families live on campus) except... larger. But... this time the Bishop got up in front of us all and started to speak.

"Uhh... well, this announcement is for the brethren, and I was going to say something in Elder's Quorum earlier... and I'm sorry, but I forgot!" Bishop Madsen then proceeded to scratch his head a little... He put his hand in his pockets. "Have I issued a challenge before?"

In unison almost, the ward answered, "No."

He chuckled a little, "Oh, I've been too nice."

The guys kind of looked around at each other nervously.

"Well, I'm going to issue a challenge to the brethren of our ward: that you each go on at least one date a week until the end of the semester!"

Noise erupted in the tiny lobby in which all 180 of us were packed into. Of the guys whose faces I could see, about half looked delighted... the other half looked terrified. All the girls I could see were celebrating loudly (as was I). My FHE son, Alex, looked as if he had just turned to stone. This was not just terror... this was absolute panic. I was standing next to Ian. He had his face buried in his hands. "Oh, no. Oh, no no no... I'm going to be broke... I can't do this... I'm doomed to be poor..." "Ian! You don't have to make yourself poor to go on dates!" Ryan, who was a little bit ahead of me, turned around and laughed, "Shall we tell them about the Madsen Recital Hall?" (There are free musical recitals practically every night at 7:30 there). He looked fine, since he already goes on anywhere from one to three dates a week anyway.

It was then time to say prayer, and we collectively got down on our knees for it. When we all opened our eyes again, I could see that the majority of the guys around had just lost a family member, and all the girls looked like they had just won the lottery or something grand.

I'm not sure if I imagined it or not, but I could have sworn that one of the guys was on the verge of hyperventilating or something as I was leaving... Many guys begged us for ideas on the spot.

Come Monday morning, we awoke to find a note all taped up on our doors, saying something like the following... "We need fun and inexpensive date ideas... please write some on the back of this paper and deposit in the main Shipp fireplace..." This seemed incredibly funny to us, since the anonymous writer(s) obviously wanted to not be found out. However, while they had bothered to type the note, it seemed that as an afterthought it might be a good idea to label which girl's room this paper would be returning from... So, written in clumsy handwriting was our address, "126 Robison"... My roommates joked about comparing handwritings to find out whose it was. I joked with them, but kept my mouth shut... (Let's just say I knew whose it was... and I'm sure you can guess whose it was as well...)

Within ten minutes, we had typed up a two-column page in ten-point font of really random date ideas, including: mud football, blindfolded cake decorating with spatulas, finger-painting except with toes, nightcrawler hunting, making Wanted posters of each other, dollar theatre, board game night, gerbil bathing (yeah... what is up with that?), ghosting, three-legged basketball, pirate ship balcony commandeering (group date), Irish dancing, ice-cream sculpting, hide-and-go-seek, dancing in random department stores, bowling in formal dress, coloring books and ice cream, etc.

We then printed it out, stapled it to the ridiculously tiny piece of paper our mystery friends had provided for us, and inconspicuously delivered it to the men's fireplace. Strange spot for a drop-off.

Well, none of us have been asked on dates yet, but it's only Tuesday. However, we have positively identified at least a few of the culprits. This morning the University Chorale got to sing in devotional. Will, Ryan, Dallin, and I are all in this group... So... we all headed down
to the Marriott Center for devotional. Ryan and Will, being guys of small stature, ended up near the front. However, Dallin (of large stature) and I (quite tall in heels) ended up in the very last row... next to each other.

Before the devotional started, Dallin called his grandparents to tell them to watch the devotional on BYUTV, since they would be home when it was showing. He also added that his roommates and he had build a mini-golf course in their lobby last night for dates tonight, and needed an extra putter.

"A mini-golf course! That's amazing!"

Dallin nods.

"No, it really it is! See, you guys don't need help coming up with ideas!"

Dallin blinked at me. "What makes you think that was us?"

... What makes me think what was... "Wait... what?" Oh. Aha... "Oh, that. No, no, no... most of the guys I've talked to since Sunday have complained about not being able to think of date ideas..."

Dallin realized too late that hadn't been what I was trying to say.

We fell silent. Then... "Was that you?" It would be nice to know for sure it was them... since, after all, I had recognized Ryan's handwriting... and Dallin and Ryan were roomies. But it would be nice for the guys to feel like it actually had been a secret.

Dallin had the most horrified look on his face... like he had just accidentally betrayed top secret information to the enemy during a time of war. "Uhhh... Never mind... Just... never mind..."

And then we sang. But Dallin seemed rather uncomfortable for the next hour. I think the poor guy was trying to figure out how he was going to explain to his roommates how the secret had leaked out.

Men Treat Me Like I'm a Princess.

Yesterday was... interesting to say the least. It was an extremely jam-packed day, if I may say so. I woke up around 4am... oh dear, that means I'll be late! So, I call my boss and tell him I'm going to be late... and I was. I then cleaned stairs for about three hours. Then I scurried over to the Talmage building where I did my physics and calculus homework. Then I went to calculus.

After that was over, I made my way to the MARB, and seated myself comfortably on the top level next to a power outlet, where I plugged in my dear Jacques (my laptop) and began to hurriedly do my biology homework. Then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw some guys walking around with boxes of Krispy Kremes... I felt a twinge of jealousy and then tuned them out.

"HI!"

I jumped and looked up. One of the Krispy Kreme guys was offering me a donut. Oh, yes please. I happily take it. The guy walks away, offering donuts to my study neighbors. I look down at my glazed prize.

At this point, I thought of Ryan, because he often reminisces about Krispy Kremes. The closest shop is in Orem, and neither of us have a car, so our chances of coming across them are slim. I smile as I take a bite of the artery-clogging goodness. He would be so jealous.

My donut gone, I continue working on biology. The bell rings and I continue working. I was right next to my classroom, and the class that was in there now had to get out first. It was suddenly very crowded in the hallways, so I scrunched up a little, and kept my head down. And then...

BAM!

Some black-shoed guy had very abruptly slammed down on the ground in front of me, and I jumped. My head jerked up to see the face of the culprit. Oh, it's Ryan... he was one of the people who had to vacate my classroom so I could get in there.

"...Did you hit your head on the brick when I scared you?"

"No, no, I didn't."

"Is that biology?"

"Yeah..."

"That is a huuuuge book!"

"Yep. ... ... ... I had a Krispy Kreme today!"

"What?!? Where'd you get one of those?" I told him. And then he looked so miffed. "Jenna, you should have grabbed me one!" "That's rude though..." "Then... then... you should have come and gotten me! Pulled me out of class! You knew I was in there!" I shook my head, and started to pack up my biology and put it in my enormous backpack. And he was so sad. I promised that if it ever happened again, I would come get him. He went to his class, and I walked into physics.

It was a tad boring today. After that, I dashed off to choir... then after that I dashed off to biology. And after that I dashed over to the JSB, where I did my Book of Mormon homework, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the ground next to the door of my next class. Except I wasn't asleep... very close to it, but not asleep. Every time someone passed me, I would open my eyes. At one point Ryan had come, but then saw I was asleep, and then left again. At least he thought I was sleeping.

The bell rang. I almost got up... and then decided against it. I just laid there. And then Ryan showed up again. "Wake up!"

"Uggghh... I am, I am..." And then we went into the classroom. I groggily blinked around at people as they came in.

"Are you busy tonight?" I was. So busy. "Yeah... I've got orchestra and a mandatory dance lab I have to go to... So I'm busy from seven to ten!" Ryan sighed sadly. "Oh... Dallin randomly buys things he doesn't need..."

What? That was random. Well, it wasn't, but I didn't know this at the time. Dallin [his roommate] had bought tickets to the men's chorus concert that night, and then after realizing he couldn't go, gave them to Ryan. And now Ryan was desperately trying to find a date. Unfortunately, every girl he had asked had been busy beyond all reason and couldn't go. I sympathize with him, and then class starts.

After that, I ran home with Hillary (who is also in our Book of Mormon class), starving.

Hillary made sloppy joes, and I did my Isaiah homework.

And then I ran off to orchestra and played bassoon for awhile. Then Jackie and I ran off to the dance lab. Ah, so this was why Dallin was busy. He was there too, along with Roy, Josef, Ian, and Michael. Clifton was there too, but he had sprained his ankle. I danced with all of them until about ten'o'clock, at which point we could leave.

The boys left first. And I tried to follow them and catch up, but there were these blasted heels... Oh blast it all. I took off my heels and ran after them in socks... into the outside, where it was snowing wetly. The ground was cold and wet, but... my feet hurt from being in heels for so long, and then it wasn't very far from the Wilk to my apartment. I decided it wasn't worth it to wear the heels.

I dash after the boys... "Hey! I don't want to walk home alone!" I join them.

"...You're not wearing your shoes..."

"No, I'm not."

"And the ground is cold and wet!"

"Yes, I can feel that... It's not that bad..."

And then Dallin pipes up... "Do you want us to carry you home?"

I laugh at this, and protest, "I'm wearing a skirt! Somehow I don't think that would work too well!"

Dallin and Michael look at each other, and form a nice seat out of their arms. Hm. This could be a good thing. "Come on, we could totally carry you!"

I sit down on the arm-seat. And then they lift me up. Whooooaaaa... the instability was amazing... and then Dallin complains, "Michael, you're too short. Ian's more my height, that would be better!"

So they put me down. And then Ian and Dallin formed a seat. And then they lifted me up again. It was misty, and it was snowing/raining. Michael took my shoes and carried them for me.

"Jenna, wave like this!" Michael demonstrated, in much the same way they do in Princess Diaries. So, I waved at the passing cars.

"Do you feel like a princess, Jenna?" asked Ian (or maybe it was Dallin?).

"Yes, yes, I do. This is so amazing!"

Unfortunately, this didn't last very long. The boys below me finally had to put me down. They looked rather dejected and ashamed for not being able to carry me all the way home, and apologized for being so weak.

When I walked inside, my roommates immediately demanded why I looked so smug. "Well... I just got carried home by men!"

"WHAT? Why, you manipulative little witch. ... ... Teach me," demanded Rachel.

"What? How to manipulate men?"

"Yes."

Rachel was upset with the whole night.

Noodles.

Ah, President's Day. No school. Yessss.

Still, this means Jenna is stuck with her nose in a biology book. So many of my roommates have been gone. Ashley was in urgent care, Rochelle, as usual, was missing in action. Jackie was at a relative's house. Hillary and Rachel were here, but were busy entertaining their old high school friend, Latecia. So... I was practically alone in the apartment. I suppose I could have gone over to the guy's hall, but Ryan was at his grandparent's house, and Will is just plain depressing.

Ah, biology. How exquisitely exciting when you don't have a test the next day. Poring over the book... filling out charts...

KNOCK KNOCK.

What does Ryan want? Wait a minute. Ryan isn't in Provo... is he?

I answer the door.

Hm. Ryan's back. So much for studying biology. And... I realize that I'm hungry. Snack time.

Ryan invades my kitchen and begins telling me all about his crazy adventures with cardboard boxes over the weekend. I happily start munching (I forget what I was eating... but I think I made myself something tasty). And suddenly, Ryan perks up.

"Hey! Did I tell you I learned how to make noodles?"

I blink. I must have misheard. "You made noodles?"

"Yeah, I learned how to make them last week!"

Wait. Whoa, now. Learned how to make noodles last week? My brain nearly fell through to my stomach. "You... you didn't know how to make them before?"

"Well, no... except for the noodles in the Mac'n'Cheese boxes... but then they make just plain noodles! And sell them in plastic packages!"

"You've never made noodles before?!? NEVER?"

"No!"

There is a slight awkward pause.

"Oh, and I also found out that they make spaghetti sauce and sell it in jars!"

Holy macaroons. My goodness. What has this boy been eating his whole life? "Well, yes..."

"And... they also make it in cans, right?"

I nod slowly. "Yes... of course they do... but it tastes slightly of can, and that's why most people prefer the jarred sauce..." At this, he looked confused, and didn't say anything. "Well, it's cheaper in cans, and you can get rid of the tinny taste really easy... you just add a little bit of sugar to it, and it's all better." He just kind of looked around at everything and anything except for me... he was ashamed... or something. "But that doesn't really matter if you know how to make your own... it tastes better if you make your own sauce anyway... you know, your own meat, your own seasoning..."

I think at this point he was excited to hear something familiar. "Oh, that's what Dallin said!" Dallin, Ryan's roommate, is probably the most amazing cook I've ever met in my life. I mean, he could cook for a girl and then propose... and not get rejected because the food is so good.

"Good, good..."

At this point, Hillary, Rachel, and Latecia enter the kitchen and start fixing themselves dinner as well. Hillary starts making Brussels sprouts. Ryan watches curiously. Timidly, he asks, "How do you make those?"

Add water. Add butter. Add heat. Done.

"Oh. Can you do that with pretty much any vegetable you want to cook?"

"Yeah..." Hillary and Rachel start to watch him suspiciously, as if they thought he were teasing them. But then...

I blurt out, "He's never made noodles before until last week!" I was glad my roommates took this news in much the same way I did. Their heads swiveled to look at the oddity was the noodleless creature Ryan.

"N-n-n-never?"

"Well, no. Not 'till last week..."

Can you make this? No. How about this? No. This? What do you think? No.

I eye him suspiciously. "Ryan... is there anything you can cook?"

"Uhh... well, I made mashed potatoes... once..." And then, hopefully, "Do you guys know how to make mashed potatoes?" We all nod solemnly, at which point Ryan droops again in shame. Then, he perks up again. "Oh, but have you known how to make them for a long time?" We gently assure him that we've been making mashed potatoes for as long as we could remember. His head dropped sadly.

He left rather abruptly after that.

But then, about an hour later, I hear another knock. I answer the door again to find Ryan peering in from the other side, looking extremely excited. "Jenna! Guess what? I made noodles! Wanna see?"

"Oh, I'm proud of you--"

"Wanna see 'em?"

"Um, sure... where are they?"

Ryan had commandeering my neighbor's kitchen. I walk in to see a pan of boiling water with noodles inside. And Ryan was just glowing happily. He dipped his stirring spoon into the hot noodle-water mixture to pull out a few noodles... then he poked them gleefully. "Ooh! Look, Jenna, noodles!"

"Yeah... noodles..." I look down at the pot. The water looked like it was about to boil over the sides. "Uhh... I think you put too much water in..."

He blinked and dropped his happy little noodles into the pot again. "I did? Oh no, what do I do now?"

"Uhh... turn down the heat a little. A stir a bit more... It'll still boil, just not as high..." That fixed, Ryan went back to glowing happily. And then, he pointed out his sauce. Yes, it was the kind they sell in jars. And he was so proud of it. I tried hard not to laugh. I ended up just shaking my head and smiling, and then I looked up at him. "How long do you have before your mission?"

"My availability date is June 19th!"

"And... you can't cook? Ryan, you're going to starve. There probably isn't going to be an abundance of frozen pizzas and Spaghettio's... especially since you won't have much money! You're going to die!"

He ignored me.

"Ryan, I'm going to teach you how to cook. Forget the potato gun. Cooking. I would prefer it if you lived through your mission."

"Uhh... I can cook more than you think! I... I can make macaroni and cheese! And mashed potatoes! I learned about gravy this weekend! You can actually make it from meat drippings... or you can buy packets for it at the store!"

"Um. Yes, I know." I looked pointedly at him. "So what are you going to learn to make this week?"

"Uhhh... Um. I think I'll perfect my mashed potatoes."

"Okay. And gravy. You'll make gravy too."

"Uhh, okay..."

And with that I went home.